Home >> I DO have a great life!

This morning’s Chicago Tribune‘s front page story ‘I have a great life’ is the most tepid, cowardly and typically written article by an outsider to life with a child who has Down syndrome. It made my blood boil! So, I shot off this letter to Colleen Mastony who wrote the article:

Dear Colleen,
I have ask you…do you personally know any individuals with Down syndrome? I mean REALLY know them?

In your attempt to write a “balanced” report, you have missed the heart of the matter. A mother who chooses to abort her baby with Down syndrome will never know the deep love that she could have had for her child. She will never know the amazing joy that her child could have brought. I challenge a reporter out there to interview women who have aborted. Ask them how they feel in the aftermath of their abortion. Ask them about their dreams at night. Ask them how often they think about their decision to “terminate.”

I also have to ask, what do you mean by the “heartbreaking limitations of science?” My family is not heartbroken by the birth of our son Nathan who has Down syndrome. He is a ray of sunshine! You would not believe how he charms perfect strangers in the grocery store! The only limitations that he has are those put on him by physicians who act as gatekeepers who have merely read books about Down syndrome and have not loved and taught a child withDs. Yes, there are a wide range of disabilities that a child with Ds could have. And the same is true of normally developing children who also can have speech impediments, thyroid problems, heart defects, hearing loss, need glasses, have ADD, ADHD, dyslexia, hypotonia , celiac disease, leukemia, autism, behavior problems and grow up to have addictions and REALLY break their parent’s hearts. No child has ALL of those problems whether they have Down syndrome or not. There’s a tendency to highlight all the possible defects that a child with Ds could have but you’ll never hear an obstetrician tell a mother after a GOOD amniocentesis report that her child looks fine now, but could die of cancer at two years old, get hit by a car at eight, get shot at fourteen, or worse yet, open fire on a college campus and take the lives of 29 people. The WOMB is not a crystal ball. PARENTHOOD is a “leap of faith” to borrow your words.

I will speak for the many parents of children with Ds. They ARE beautiful. We love them deeply. We don’t regret our decision to give them life. They have enriched our lives…every single one of them. We are brave parents. If obstetricians want to prepare parents for life with a child with Ds, they need to bring one of US into the office. It would be a pleasure to introduce our son Nathan who is two, knows his ABCs, sings, plays the guitar, uses 100 signs, does puzzles, runs, climbs the big ladders at the playground, climbs into our lap with his favorite book and brings more joy to our lives than anybody in the entire world. That is the heart of the story.

Liita Forsyth
Chicago

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