Home >> peace
December 23, 2007
There is every possible reason to be stressed out. My step mom is dying, finances are tight, I have a pile of work to get done. But today, despite all of that, I do feel peace. I have hope. There is more to life than all the messes around us. We have wonderful and deep, long-time friendships, beautiful children, family, unbelievably good neighbors who will have Christmas with us, and the knowledge that God has big plans for us. Our job is to be faithful and do what is right, always being honest and true. If I think too hard about the future, it’s a vast and scary wilderness of unknowns. So, in order to get through today, I have to trust that there’s a Master Plan and that things will work out for good.
In the category of worry, recent events remind me of when Nathan was born. I read books about Down syndrome trying to get an idea of what we were up against… I read of all the possible disorders that Nathan might have. It was overwhelming! He’s going to be two years old on the 26th and the biggest thing that I’ve learned is that he’s almost just like any other little boy. The books say that kids with DS tend to be extra stubborn. Well, he’s not any more stubborn than my brilliant almost-five-year-old, Miika. Wacky teeth…his teeth are just fine. Forgetful…he remembers like a little elephant. Hearing….he hears the tiniest whisper. And the list goes on. It’s been an absolute joy to watch him catch on and do so many things instinctively…problem solving especially. If the ball is behind the chair, he moves the chair. If the car is under the fridge, he fusses until mommy comes to the rescue. Yes, there are delays, but he’s such a bright star. All that initial worry for nothing. Even the miracle of his heart…. The cardiologist and surgeon both said his ASD would not shrink and it did. No surgery needed!
All my worry about money and how the bills are going to get paid and some anonymous person slipped us a surprise gift this week. It’s humbling and it’s hard to hold back the tears. But I’m again reminded that I must not worry. I don’t have enough reserve energy to worry. So, I’m not going to. We’re just going to have a marvelous Christmas and be thankful for all that God has provided…which is exactly what we need for this moment. I will trust him for everything that is out of my control.