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December 12, 2007
Sledding….check!
Christmas tree….check!
Cookies…check!
and clean, clean, clean…check!
Part of the reason that I posted the pvc playhouse is because I knew we’d be taking it down for Christmas. Oh, the trauma…the weeping.
“Mommy, I hate Christmas, I don’t ever want to have Christmas again!” and more weeping… It took us almost two hours to calm Miika down. I felt like I’d shot the family horse. I must admit though, I was a bit sad too. There was definitely something completely magical in that little house…like bottling up childhood. We’ve had countless tea parties, read many stories, imagined endless tales. Then poof, it was gone gone…
That was Sunday. Monday I cleaned and yesterday we bought the tree. (a Home Depot bargain! A balsam for $28.99) The magic has returned…ahhh…all is well again. Both Miika and Nathan stood in awe this morning of the lights, the ornaments, the wonder.
And all of that wonder causes me to pause to consider a few who are close to me who can’t seem to take in the magic of Christmas. Over the years I’ve observed a handful of friends and relatives who suffer greatly from depression. Somehow at this time of year it is even more intense, perhaps because of the losses they feel which contrast the joy they are “supposed” to feel. I think all of them have had bitter relationships with parents that seem to have robbed their joy. So as a protective measure they insulate themselves by withdrawing, which in turn causes a deeper sadness and loneliness. I recently I read a snippet from an old book by Erwin Lutzer, called, Managing Your Emotions:
“Human love is simply not strong enough to weather all the storms of life. But when we begin to exercise divine love, which is not a feeling based on sentiment…but an action…then God can mend…You will experience the tremendous power of God’s love as you actually do what Jesus commanded.”
I understand depression to some extent, but I can’t say that I’ve ever been deeply depressed to the point of needing medication. And I don’t have the authority of a psychologist. But I’ve observed that some depressed people don’t clean their houses and they don’t go anywhere or participate or volunteer. Their antidote of isolation pulls them lower. So, what if, as Lutzer says, “we begin to exercise divine love” by taking action even though we don’t feel like it? Get out of the house and go give toys to tots, or serve supper to the homeless, or accept the invitation to a Christmas party to be with other people. There’s nothing worse than being home alone on a gray day when you’re sad. I’m not saying “snap out of it.” That’s not realistic. But I do know that joining, doing, going and being with others is good medicine. Even a simple brisk walk produces “happy” hormones. I’ve had days when the weight of too many appointments, not enough money, too much work to do, a strained relationship, needy kids and a filthy house push me over the edge. It usually hits me in the afternoon for whatever reason and it’s paralyzing…very hard to put one foot in front of another. But I have to go forward. And I often pray for the strength just to get out of my chair. Sometimes the kids and I simply get out of the house and go to the playground or Target or I call a friend…anything but isolation.
So, to my friends who are sad, give yourself a good present…one step at a time out of the deep hole of too much inward anger and introspection. Give of yourself to gain joy…and pray for a supernatural hand to hold. God is real and joy is attainable, but not all by yourself. On the darkest days surround yourself with community and reach out.
