Home >> true confessions

“Mommy, do you know what I was saying to myself while you were outside the van?”

“No, Miika, I don’t.”

“I told myself that Mommy was turning into a witch.”

“Oh?”

I don’t remember what I was yelling at her about, but she was provoked. Aye, aye, aye… I guess the pressure of recent days, lack of sleep, lack of energy, lack of patience, has made me mean. I used to be a nice person before having kids, really I was!

OK, so mommy needs to count to 10 more often. Mommy needs to go to bed before 2am. Mommy needs to drink more tea and less coffee. Mommy needs to pray more and fill her mind with God’s words… Throw out the New Year’s Resolutions and make daily ones.

“Mommy, you never have time to play with me because you’re always working.”

“Yup…that’s right…(so, what’s a mommy to do?)…so you can have a roof over your head, food on your plate, clothes on your body, and toys in your bins…”

Many years ago I wrote to myself in a journal, “Live the way you want to be remembered when you die.” In the heat of an argument or frustration with my kids, it’s hard to remember that. Daily I have to evaluate myself, my walk, my talk, my actions. Am I a light or a storm cloud? What is important? What battles are really worth fighting? I tend to sweat the small stuff, loosing sight of the big picture. Perhaps blogging confessions here will help me keep a wise perspective…God help me! Help me to stop and and read a book to my kids, bake cookies, play in the snow, live the way I want to be remembered.

Posted in Work@home | 2 Comments »