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October 24, 2007
If love could be defined in color, it would be pink with deep sparkly jewels set free for Miika and yellow sunshine with shades of orange and gold for Nathan held close. There is a sense of letting Miika go and teaching her independence. For Nathan, teaching him and loving him is altogether different…it’s deeply protective.
To teach Nathan we repeat, rerun, and sometimes temporarily give up, then try again a few weeks later. In contrast, we’d show Miika something, she’d get it, retain it and we moved on. For instance, using utensils…I think Miika had mastered that at about 11 months of age. At 26 months, she was making bracelets with needle, thread and beads. I never had to worry about her eating any of the materials. She was potty trained at about that same time. I have tried to start with Nathan at 22 months, but he’s so resistant. So in the potty department, I have temporarily given up. At the same time though, he learns gross motor skills very easily. It’s the fine motor skills and speach that are delayed.
In the first months of his life, I was constantly searching for landmarks, milestones, and guidelines, trying to figure out what I should expect. I wanted to see in the crystal ball of older kids where he’d be in 6 months, a year, two years. And I’ve discovered, development is simply a wild card. Children with DS are as diverse as normally developing children. Some of the other kids that we interact with in therapy or play groups are much further along verbally. Yet, I can see in Nathan’s eyes sparkle with comprehension. Others are more delayed in their gross motor skills. So, we just push ahead. Lately he has had a burst of sign language development. I’m starting to loose track of how many words, 20 maybe? But his actual verbal words are limited. He’s all about movement, practically running.
Maybe some of this information about Nathan’s development will help other brand new parents a little. (When Nathan was about two months old, I read Expecting Adam, and tracked down Martha Beck’s next book, Leaving the Saints, in hopes of peeking into my own future by reading about Adam.) Most importantly, every day I see Nathan more and more as just a little boy, and less and less as a Down syndrome specimen. His life is completely precious. His personality is charming. I can’t wait to see who he will become. At the moment, he is intensely interested in cars, trucks, wheels, trains…fascinated with lights, fans and anything round. Maybe he’ll be an engineer!